My inbox is filled with delightful offers day and night. Various businesses seem quite concerned with my financial and sexual well-being. Today, however, was the first that dealt with issues of my safety.
Subject: You have been betrayed by some close to you
Some close? Glenn Close? I don’t know her well enough to be betrayed, but thank you for the concern. Am I being betrayed by “some clothes” and they just left out some letters? I’m so confused (and scared).
Maybe they elaborate in the message itself.
You have been betrayed!!!
You said as much in the subject. Oh, now I see the three exclamation points. You’re serious here. Ok, I’m paying attention.
It’s a pity that this how your life is going to come to an end as your death had already been paid for by someone who is very close to you from all investigations.
Someone paid for my death?! Well, that’s generous of them. I’d hate to have to pay for it myself. Sounds expensive. This person (FROM indicates it is someone named ZECO) has even done investigations to prove that it was someone close to me. Aww, so sweet.
